Other than Avengers Infinity War, Deadpool 2 was the most anticipated movie release around the house in 2018.  My two oldest son dying to get another dose of the foul-mouthed but funny merc with a mouth.  Well, today, they got to experience DP2, and I tagged along with them to see if it lived up to its super successful predecessor.

Out of the gate, DP2 seemed to have the chops to do so.  The title character trading one liners with criminals while killing everyone in site.  There was a cool slow motion scene with DP wrecking havoc in a warehouse.  Lots of the trademark comedic narration by Ryan Reynolds, and the cute relationship between DP and Vanessa began moving into a more serious stage.  But then someone hit the brakes on the fun.

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First off, that special someone who was the focus of the first Deadpool movie bites the dust within the first 15 minutes of so of DP2.  It was a stupid death.  Of no real importance to anything.  And without Vanessa’s physical presence (She does show up in visions DP has.) the story lacked any emotional depth.  Can’t express enough how much this decision to jettison DP’s love interest bothered me.  It just sucked.

What came next was even worse though.  Obviously, Deadpool doesn’t deal with his lovers death very well.  He becomes angst ridden, serious, and suicidal.  All of which leads to Colossus showing up to force him into the X-fold.  But this doesn’t go anywhere other than to get a couple laughs and to introduce a young mutant named Russell aka Firefist.  Russell becoming the focus of things as Cable shows up from the future with a burning desire to him.  DP protecting the kid as he tries to “get his heart in the right place.”  This the driving force of the rest of the movie.

I have to stop right here and admit I hated Russell; he is the worst part of DP2.  Not only is he an annoying, foul mouthed little punk, but even worse he isn’t funny in the least.  And the film doesn’t really develop him.  Rather, the movie uses him as a target to poke fun at for the shank up his ass.  (Yes, he literally keeps a shank up his ass.)  I personally felt his part of the film was a total waste of time, and since he was vital to the story, his suckiness really mucked things up, leading it down the wide road to movie hell.

But, hey, Cable can’t be bad?

Actually he was bad, horribly boring.  From the get go there is no mystery to him.  You know he isn’t a real bad guy.  He never does anything horrible or evil.  You don’t exactly know what his plans are, but you don’t really care.  All you know is he wants to kill Russell, and I for one wanted him to.  Worst, he is ultra serious, never funny, and totally forgettable.  The only lines about him I even recall as I type this a few hours later are where DP keeps calling him a racist or the time he calls him Thanos, which was actually funny. But, overall, Cable is pretty forgettable here.

But, X Force shows up?  That has to be cool.

There are a few laughs when the team gets put together, but all those are in the previews.  In the movie, the team doesn’t stay together long enough for anything much to happen.  Basically, everyone except for DP and Domino are gruesomely killed within a few minutes of undertaking their first mission. So X Force is another damn waste.

It was still funny though, right?

Sometimes.  But a lot of the jokes were recycled from the first movie.  They tweaked them a little, but it was still the same thing. Plus, the sexual innuendo got old.  It was funny the first couple times, but eventually I got tired of dick jokes and sex jokes.   And the new stuff like the diversity jokes, your a racist jokes, and  the gay jokes just weren’t funny at all.

The action was cool, though?

At the beginning of the movie it definitely was.  The slow motion fight at the beginning was great.  The Domino scene where she is running down the road and escapes death over and over again was killer.  Hell, even the big fight on the prison transport bus was damn cool at times.  By the time we got to the climactic ending though, the fights had become repetitive and stale with too many cgi effects, big explosions, and stupid crap going on.

Those killer cameos?

I recall a few, but none of them were particularly funny.  Plus, they were so quick that you’d miss them if you weren’t paying close attention.  So I don’t see how the cameos really did anything for the movie.

What about that twist ending?

Which one?  The one the film ended on which was about as predictable and dull as you can imagine, or the post-credit scenes where DP basically rewrites history and makes the whole movie null and void?  Personally, I hated both.

What is my final ranking then?

Right now I’d give it a 3 out of 10 stars.  It was pretty damn bad. Duller than Black Panther even, which is quite an accomplishment.  I mean, literally, I kept waiting for the movie to end by the halfway point because I was so tired of the same old crap over and over again. Now that I think of it I’d say it is almost as bad as Green Lantern.  (Hell yeah I said that.)

Did I like anything about DP2 then?

Yeah, I did.  I really liked Domino.  She had some some great action scenes, showed some flash in her comedy bits, and stole the damn show from DP whenever she shared the screen.  Plus, she was damn sexy which did not hurt at all.  (Yes, I did just sexualize a female.  I’m sure DP has a stupid f-ing joke about my toxic masculity he’d tell right about now. And, no, it wouldn’t be funny in the least.)